The Words I Can’t Say
I just want you to be there for me when I need you. I want you to know that I’m broken, and for you to be there to pick up the pieces without me asking. I want you to be able to tell when things aren’t okay, and be willing to put my needs above your own sometimes. I know that sounds greedy and horrible, but it’s true. And I know it’s self-centered and I know that I’m being unrealistic. The truth is, I’ve been having a rough time these past few days, and I’ve been looking forward to you holding me in the dark where I can let the truth spill out where judging eyes can’t see. When you hold me I feel safe, and in that safety I can tell you what’s really wrong underneath it all, instead of giving you the same excuses I give to everyone else. I’m not just tired and stressed. I’m completely overwhelmed. My world is breaking down around me, and I can’t talk about it with anyone else. I’m scared of other people seeing me break, but I need to have the chance to break down so that I can heal. But for that, I need you. I need to talk things through, to tell you how unrealistic my worries are, and how I know that I’m being ridiculous. I know it, but the worries are still there. And I just wish you could be there for me the way I need you to be to help me through it all.