Life Is Better With Less Anxiety
My struggle with anxiety has been primarily over the past year. Well, it took a lot of life changes, but I’m doing a lot better now that I was last year. I’m in a house with people I like. I’m not afraid that my relationship is going to end suddenly. I know I can live on my own, and that cooking won’t cause me to accidentally kill myself.
I made a “worry list” about a year ago as a way of facing the facts about what it is that is causing my anxiety. Well, despite a few which I can’t influence right now (like whether or not I will find a career that I enjoy), I’ve come to terms with most of the things on that 17-item list.
I went to work yesterday and for the first time in a long time wasn’t dreading it and panicking about how it might go. I just went, and it was okay. No, it was awesome. I’m in the Canadian navy, and they took us out on small boats and we went ripping around the lake. Was I scared? You bet. But I didn’t let it stop me from doing the things I want to do.
A year ago, I would have told them I can’t go in on this day because I would have been panicking for two weeks beforehand about the uncertainty of how I would feel once I got there, or whether I would make a fool of myself somehow when I have another panic attack. Now I can not only go to work, but I feel present like I’ve never felt before. I’m here, not listening to my mind chatter about all the schoolwork I have to do and the fact that everyone is watching me and judging.
Life is not only easier with less anxiety, but it’s more enjoyable as well. A year ago I didn’t think my recovery was possible. I thought I was doomed to panic forever. Well, I’m recovering. Not fully recovered yet, but I’m definitely getting there.
If I could do it, so can you. Don’t let the anxiety win. You can handle this. And if you ever need an ear to talk to, I’m here to listen just like my readers have been for me throughout it all.
Thank you for being there for me. I honestly appreciate it.