Some Days

Some days I wake up and just let the feeling of dread wash over me
I feel tired straight through to the bone
I clench my sheets tighter around my body and just lay there shivering
Afraid of what the day will bring
And whether I’ll feel better or worse once the day begins

Some days I feel sick for no reason
I tell myself, there’s no need to be anxious
There is no threat, it’s okay to relax
And still my stomach churns and my thoughts begin to stray
And all I can do is try to remember how to breathe until the feeling passes

Some days I’m so worried about things I can hardly move
No matter what I do right now, it will never be enough
It will never be enough to change the future
And without change, I can’t focus on the present
Because my fear is so strong it’s impossible to just be

Some days, though, I’m able to get through it
I wake up, smile, and remind myself that it will be okay
This is no tougher than yesterday, and I’ve done this before
There’s no reason to believe that today will be a bad day
All I can do is trust myself no matter how much doubt I have
And believe that if I don’t allow my anxiety to control my life
The dawn will come.

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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

4 responses to “Some Days”

  1. Roberta McDonnell says :

    So well put, please be kind to yourself – there is a lovely post on using activity meditation throughout the day as a calming strategy – it’s at Beyond Meds blog and shared on my FB. I do hope today is a good one, admire your bravery and wish you all the very best R.

  2. bravesmartbold says :

    Don’t spend too many days like that. I used to. It’s a waste of an amazing talent, but I’m glad you wrote about it. It helps us all.

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