Getting Through It
Well, it’s been a nice week off, but it’s time to head home to Hamilton. James and I have enjoyed our stay… well, most of it. Let’s be real here, any time with family will have it’s bumps. Still, he got through it nicely, and with an impressive amount of gentlemanly charm. My sister quite enjoyed the way he kept saying “nifty”, and other rather British terms. When we pulled up to the airport, my parents got out to say goodbye to James and I. I’ll admit I felt a twinge of happiness when he shook hands with my dad, and hugged my mom, who told him she would see him again next time. I knew my parents would have a hard time with seeing me, their youngest daughter, bring the man she loves back to Winnipeg. Besides my oldest brother, who pretty much announced his marriage and then eloped, none of my siblings have ever brought home someone they were in a serious relationship with. And being the youngest, as well as a girl, I knew it would be difficult for them. Bringing him here and having him stay in the house for a week, I think they started to see both of us in a new light. They’re starting to see me as an adult, but not taking this to mean that I feel I don’t need my parents anymore. They know they have an important role in my life, but it’s now better for me if they fulfill that role from a different province. They are also now accepting James as an important man in my life who treats me with respect and truly cares about me, not just as the guy who stole their daughter away. I’m sad this trip is ending, and I do wish I could stay for a bit longer. I’ve really missed my friends, and I wish I could have spent more time with them. I also just wanted more time to relax and not feel obligated to keep James and my sister entertained all the time. Still, that’s life, isn’t it? Never enough time for the things we want to do. Life is moving on, and my military contract starts Monday. I can’t keep spending time wishing I could relax for a while longer. Being home has been good for my sanity, and I’m feeling a lot less anxious in general about the upcoming contract. I’m now going to try to keep optimistic and present, and not let my anxiety get the best of me. Like I said, I’m excited for what’s coming up in my life, and I’m feeling a lot more ready for it now that I’ve had some time off. And just in case I need them, I’ve got a bunch of anxiety books that have been helping me along this far, and I’ll use them as a reminder that even though things aren’t always easy, I can get through it. And I know that James will be there for me when I need him. He’s put up with me this far, and I’m glad being around my family hasn’t made him change his mind. We will get through the summer contract together, even though there will be a lot of traveling and other things that make me anxious. Still, I’m fighting. And I’m going to keep fighting every day until my anxiety is gone for good. As for right now, I’m managing to get by, and learning all the time. Life is about self-discovery, and relationships teach you more about yourself than you could have ever expected. No matter what life throws at you, just remember, you’ve made it this far, and you can get through this.