Musings From My Past
When I was little, I ripped the heads off of all my sister’s Barbies. Even at a young age I was extremely jealous. It wasn’t fair that she got all the blonde, pink-wearing Barbies while I had to put up with the “other friends who aren’t as special as Barbie”. And they were brunettes who wore blue or purple, which just isn’t as cool. As far as I remember, I was never punished.
Being only two years younger than my sister meant I got a lot of hand-me-downs. I remember it as never getting new clothes, but I’m sure that isn’t completely accurate. Maybe that’s part of why I like nice things now and spend too much money on clothes. I want what I felt I didn’t get when I was little.
In elementary school I developed a cat obsession. I didn’t have a cat, nor would I ever have one. I don’t even know why I decided cats are the bestest thing in the whole wide world. Whenever we played any type of game that involved playing characters, I wanted to be a fluffy white cat. This made sense when we were playing house or an animal game, but made less sense when we were playing rocket ship to the moon. Turns out cats aren’t the best thing to be in space.
I was a bully. My French immersion grade had only 4 boys and about 12 girls in it. In grade two I held a birthday party and invited everyone except one girl I didn’t like. Her mother complained to mine, and it was eventually resolved. I still don’t know if I did that on purpose or not. Her response was to hold an even better birthday party when her birthday came. Needless to say, I wasn’t invited.
There was one girl who really wanted to be in our “group”. I took charge and came up with a hazing plan. It involved a giant game of tag where she had to catch all of us before the end of recess. She failed it, and moved away a couple of months later. The two weren’t related, but I still feel bad for how I treated her.
When I was in grade 2, I made several good friends in the year below mine. Since my grade was so small, we often had split classes of us grade 2’s and then a full class of grade 1’s. I used to spend all my time with these two girls who were in grade 1, but when I asked my parents to have a sleepover with them, they told me they were “too young for me”. Maybe that’s part of why I only like hanging out with people who are my age or older now.
About janinerussellThe transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.
Hey all! Janine here.
This blog is to help me understand what is going on in my life, because I find that until I share my experiences it is hard to make sense of them and what they mean to the bigger picture. When there's nowhere else to turn, your typewriter is there to listen without judgment, and just let you bleed.
Welcome to the inside of my head.