5 Things Girls Don’t Want Guys To Know About Us
All the girls out there are like, “Stop! Don’t tell them!!!” Sorry to blow your cover, ladies, but I think it’s time. Buckle up, gents, ’cause this might be a really uncomfortable ride.
1. We’re gross. Like, really gross.
We talk with our friends about the health of various bodily functions. In fact, the health of our poops almost turns into a competition. What do you mean you had the perfect S-shaped poop? Now I have something to strive for. We also talk about things that really shouldn’t be talked about, and we don’t have to cover up the discussion with jokes like guys do. You think the idea of a “yeast infection” is disgusting? Try hearing the details about it from your best friend. I swear I know more about my best friend’s lady area than I do about my own.
2. When we shower, it’s pretty much the exact opposite of any sexy shower scene you can imagine.
I knew one girl who didn’t want her hair going down the shower drain and clogging it, so she would put handfuls of hair on the shower wall to clean up later and throw in the garbage. And cleaning our lady-bits is anything but nice.
Female comedian Jennifer Grant really explains it best… [click here to watch video]
3. We try hard to look like we’re not trying.
Do you know how hard it is to get your hair to fall into nicely tousled waves? Hours of effort, along with probably at least 5 different types of hair products and a whole lot of frustration. All to get a reaction from you of “I like how your hair looks when you just leave it natural. I hate when girls spend hours on their hair.”
4. Grooming our lady areas is an impossible struggle.
Guys will do anything to protect their package from injury. And yet, we put hot wax on our downstairs region and violently rip the hairs out. And it HURTS like you wouldn’t believe. We get ingrown hairs from shaving, and you don’t know razor burn until you’ve had it on the most chafe-able part of your body. You might think it’s all for you, but in reality it’s not. Well, sometimes it is, but I figure most girls who keep their nether regions clean do it for themselves, even if it doesn’t last very long.
5. We’re secretly kind of jealous of your penis.
Well, maybe not jealous, but definitely curious. I mean, what’s it like having that thing flopping around all the time? And to make it even more interesting, it’s a transformer! I know several girls who admit to playing with their guy’s junk after sex just to see it in it’s natural, and endlessly amusing, state. I wouldn’t want one, but I’ll play with yours when you let me.