5 Things Girls Don’t Want Guys To Know About Us

All the girls out there are like, “Stop! Don’t tell them!!!” Sorry to blow your cover, ladies, but I think it’s time. Buckle up, gents, ’cause this might be a really uncomfortable ride.

1. We’re gross. Like, really gross.

We talk with our friends about the health of various bodily functions. In fact, the health of our poops almost turns into a competition. What do you mean you had the perfect S-shaped poop? Now I have something to strive for. We also talk about things that really shouldn’t be talked about, and we don’t have to cover up the discussion with jokes like guys do. You think the idea of a “yeast infection” is disgusting? Try hearing the details about it from your best friend. I swear I know more about my best friend’s lady area than I do about my own.

2. When we shower, it’s pretty much the exact opposite of any sexy shower scene you can imagine.

I knew one girl who didn’t want her hair going down the shower drain and clogging it, so she would put handfuls of hair on the shower wall to clean up later and throw in the garbage. And cleaning our lady-bits is anything but nice.
Female comedian Jennifer Grant really explains it best… [click here to watch video]

natural brown wavy human hair

“Oh, I just rolled out of bed like this.” (Photo credit: lucy hair)

3. We try hard to look like we’re not trying.

Do you know how hard it is to get your hair to fall into nicely tousled waves? Hours of effort, along with probably at least 5 different types of hair products and a whole lot of frustration. All to get a reaction from you of “I like how your hair looks when you just leave it natural. I hate when girls spend hours on their hair.”

4. Grooming our lady areas is an impossible struggle.

Guys will do anything to protect their package from injury. And yet, we put hot wax on our downstairs region and violently rip the hairs out. And it HURTS like you wouldn’t believe. We get ingrown hairs from shaving, and you don’t know razor burn until you’ve had it on the most chafe-able  part of your body. You might think it’s all for you, but in reality it’s not. Well, sometimes it is, but I figure most girls who keep their nether regions clean do it for themselves, even if it doesn’t last very long.

5. We’re secretly kind of jealous of your penis.

Well, maybe not jealous, but definitely curious. I mean, what’s it like having that thing flopping around all the time? And to make it even more interesting, it’s a transformer! I know several girls who admit to playing with their guy’s junk after sex just to see it in it’s natural, and endlessly amusing, state. I wouldn’t want one, but I’ll play with yours when you let me.


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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

6 responses to “5 Things Girls Don’t Want Guys To Know About Us”

  1. Hanno Phenn says :

    Read the Australia Writer Kathy Lette ,I have and I am a Guy.Oh buy the way you know funny Guys that have a flopping penis .I use good YFronts (briefs)

  2. Christopher says :

    Sometimes there’s just information you NEED to know. Thanks for letting us know, we won’t tell anyone it was you that told us.

  3. purpleperceptions says :

    Lol, okay I get number three, but the rest of them I’m lost to. The idea of having an outie instead of an innie down there is… disconcerting.. yergh!! And none of the other three either, lol. 😛 Still a good read. 🙂

  4. vishalbheeroo says :

    That’s a confession and very very helpful to us, guys. The penis part is funny yet eye opener. Do girls really do that?! I wonder..hahahahah

  5. VroonMenon says :

    I think the way you’ve put it makes it such a fun article to read. I’ve been sharing this piece with a couple of friends and they all felt the same. 😉

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