To Those Who Have Supported Me
I did it.
I went on parade tonight, and I didn’t let my anxiety win. It was a long parade. We were standing there for about and hour and fifteen minutes. And throughout it all, I stayed calm and relaxed. I kept my mind focused on what was happening right at that moment. And when I started to feel anxious (When will this thing end already? I’m thirsty… I hope I’m not dehydrated because that can cause fainting. Oops I haven’t wiggled my toes in a while, gotta get the blood flowing back to my brain.) I still found my way back. I started pointing out things to myself to keep my mind in the present. (Look at the way the colour of his rank contrasts his suit. Wow the officer in front of us has a lot of medals pinned to his chest.)
All in all, I’ve realized that keeping my mind present means I’m okay right here right now. All day my stomach has been in knots thinking about parading tonight. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. I stuck it out. My back was killing me, but I stayed there. I stood strong and held on.
Now that I know that it isn’t parading that makes me panic, it’s my thoughts that make me panic, I’m confident that I’ll be able to do it next time without problems. I just have to stay calm and in the moment.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my struggles with anxiety. Without your kind words, I might not have had the courage to go to work tonight and face the devil that’s been tormenting me for so long. I know we don’t actually know each other, but it means a lot that you were willing to help me out anyway.
And if anyone out there is struggling with anxiety like I am, there’s hope. Don’t be afraid. It gets easier from here.
All the best,