The Move-In Dilemma

How do you know if it’s the right time to move in with someone?

James and I have been talking about possibly moving in together in the future. Our relationship is solid, and it would probably save us a lot of money (I live on my own which definitely isn’t cost effective since I’m cooking for one, and he lives in a house with 3 friends at the moment). I’ve decided that I’m not ready to commit to that for next September since this was my first year on my own, and have found a room in an all-girls house where I’ll be living until April 2014. James and I have agreed to talk more about the topic at that time and decide if it’s right.

I would love to get some feedback from you guys though. When did you decide to move in with your partner? How old were you, and what else was going on in your life? Was it a good decision, bad decision? Any words of warning or advice as per how things change once you’re living with someone? Any thoughts welcome!

Have a good weekend!

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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

7 responses to “The Move-In Dilemma”

  1. Hanno Phenn says :

    I was 27 well just because I have studied two subjects after each other and was for some time in the Army. I moved in with my Girlfriend just after a few weeks actually he was working as a Model and I was working as Assistant Fashion Designer in London UK and the Living Space in London is very expensive .So we had a very tiny Flat. We were very happy there but it didn’t worked out that well just because My Girlfriend was most of the time away and I was most of the time at work.It was not our fault just the circumstances.
    It was very beautiful to life together we were cooking together sharing our spare time mostly on our own because the time was so special . Now after a few years I have to admit I would do it again , The only change I would make isI would put my relationship before the career.

  2. missassay says :

    I moved in with my boyfriend around eight months ago and we are just as close as we have ever been. We had been together for almost three years beforehand, so we were completely used to eachother’s niggly habits already. I say if it feels right DO IT! 🙂 xx

  3. sabcooke says :

    I’ll be moving in with my girlfriend and two friends in September. So no idea how it’ll go, but I’m excited!

    I do know people with all girl houses who never liked it. It tends to become a very uncomfortable area very quickly with the rumours that fly around.

  4. blueprinthunter says :

    This might be slightly off topic but I’ll share it anyway.. It’s about my experience living in a van with a stranger for 3 weeks.

    A few months ago I went on an 8 week road trip around the South Island of New Zealand. I was living out of my van for this period. Before I set off on my travels I posted an ad on couchsurfing inviting anyone to join me. I got a response from a girl from Lithuania. We ended up meeting up and travelled together for 3 weeks living and sleeping in the van together.

    I still consider it one of the coolest experiences I’ve had in my life but at the same time, 3 weeks was about my limit before I my head would explode. We were almost literally in each others presence for 24/7 for those 3 weeks.

    I know this is obviously a different scenario from yours, but I guess it does offer a perspective of living with someone from a different angle. I’m a person who appreciates time alone and when deprived of that I get quite moody haha..

  5. Nanny_cool says :

    You will know when it’s right and won’t question it x

  6. TheBitchWhoKnits says :

    I didn’t do the move in thing smartly.
    What I have learned is that a one bedroom apartment is really meant for one person. Both can save money moving in together but onto a two bedroom. Then there’s the extra room for whatever works best for your relationship. Plus it’s a spot for a friend to crash after a couple drinks and the both of you are able to still get out of bed and sit in the couch the next morning, comfortably.
    I wish I had gotten a two bedroom place initially with my boyfriend and we’ve been in the same place for 4-5 years now. At first the both of us didn’t have enough stuff for the place and now we’ve greatly outgrown it.
    To put just one persons belongings in the same apartment, it would fit, but both of us together have different interests and such that the place has gotten too small. I also have a problem with no storage here. Everyone is different and so are the relationships. Talk about what works for each of you on your own and then how it would work together.

  7. chymeera says :

    I might not have the relevant experience to share – I have never moved in with a boyfriend – but I have plenty of friends who have and one thing that I have heard say was that “moving in together to save money is not the right reason to do it”, it’s a happy side effect but should not be the primary object. If you want to save money on rent, you can always flatshare (and of that I have plenty of experience as I flatshared for 10 years). I would agree as well with another comment made above “a 1 bed flat is for 1 person”, as a couple you will need to have space to be away from each other without having to leave the place. In a one bed flat, you can easily feel claustrophobic (unless you have one of those huge ones – which nobody can really afford). I think the best reason I have ever heard to move in with someone (and I warn you here it might sound very sappy) but it was a guy (and I can’t remember who it was) said that he wanted to wake up next to his girlfriend every day – how sweet is that? Not sure I helped but hope you find what you need to help you make your decision.

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