A Curious Double Standard
Now that James and I have been dating for about a year and a half, I’ve come to realize that there is a double standard in our relationship. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it exists. I… tend to get hit on by guys every once in a while. Little things, nothing that means anything. Like the guy at Starbucks trying to look cool by flinging cups around, and accidentally spilling them all over the floor. Oh, and a guy at the car place changed my oil for me for free, just because I looked hopelessly confused. I had no idea what I was doing obviously, but I didn’t want to pay to have someone do it for me.
I’ve also recently had one of those, “I’m pretty sure we’re just hanging out but I really hope that he doesn’t think it’s a date” kind of situations, and I told James that something like that was happening. Last week I was chatting with my bank teller, and told him I’m in the military. His response was “I’ve always wanted to join, but haven’t had the time for it until now. We should go for coffee and you can help me out!” You have to admit, that sounds completely harmless. James wasn’t happy about it, but he trusts me and knows I love him. And in my defense we did just talk about military and now he’s joining. This one was safe.
But… I also know that if James had been in the exact same situations, I wouldn’t be so trusting. Maybe I’m just the jealous type. When James was texting his ex one night last summer when we were at a party, I was not too happy with him. Wow, now I just sound demanding… oh well, it’s the truth. And I know if he told me he was getting hit on by girls, I would be really annoyed. This post really isn’t portraying me in a very positive light…
I know this isn’t fair. There shouldn’t be a double standard in our relationship, especially one that revolves around trust. Maybe it’s because I’m young and get kicks out of flirting with guys a bit. Or maybe I just like the attention I get, which growing up never happened. Life sucked up until high school graduation, and I kind of hated myself. Not that that makes this okay or anything, it’s just something I’m not used to so it’s exciting. And it doesn’t happen very often, so I don’t see it as particularly problematic.
Has anyone else had something like this exist in their relationships? I’m not sure what the solution is. I can’t stop Starbucks guy from making a fool of himself. And I don’t let it persist or try to give them the wrong idea. Perhaps I should just not tell James about it?