Valentine’s, Shmalentine’s.

The main problem I have with Valentine’s Day is that it makes people feel like one day per year they are obligated to prove their love for someone by giving them material things. It’s more of a social comparison than it is a real expression of love. If you really love someone, you shouldn’t need to prove it. You shouldn’t need to buy them flowers and chocolates and treat them to an expensive dinner. It bothers me when people compare the things they do with or get from their partner. Mostly girls, talking about how he bought her a necklace and flowers and… what did you get? Nothing? He obviously doesn’t love you as much as my guy loves me. There should be no pressure to increase commitment, or worries of disappointment. And disappointment is exactly what most people end up with on Valentine’s Day.

This is the first year I’ve had a valentine. I mean, usually my friends and I say we’ll be each others’ valentines. In fact, one year they handed out half hearts with a mushy phrase on it to everyone in my high school (about 600 people), and of all the hearts that were cut up, mine matched my best friend’s. It said “special moments”. That day blew my mind, because the odds of that happening are so slim. She will always be my unconventional valentine.

But back to the point, I’ve never had a real valentine. Last year James and I were dating, but he was far away at the time. I don’t even remember if we talked that day. I’m excited to spend my evening with him, but also have some anxiety about it. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to prove he loves me by buying me things. I would love to get flowers, though, because I’ve never had a man buy me flowers and think it would be a sweet gesture. I’m an old school romantic, and would absolutely melt if he gave me a red rose. One is enough. Let’s not go overboard here.

I’ve actually found the perfect valentine for him on the internet. I set it as the feature image for this post. Why is it so perfect? Because I know he’s going to respond  by saying “haha Life Alert… old people falling and hurting themselves ahahaha… I mean eww why is it so nauseatingly cute somehow?”

If I could do anything on Valentine’s Day, I’d invite James over and have him cook me dinner. Then we’d play video games and he’d serenade me with his guitar. Oh wait, that’s what we did last Saturday. Okay then. I’m content. Wouldn’t mind a repeat though cause that was a really awesome day. As long as it ends with cuddles and him being cute, I’ll be happy.

And if you’re single this Valentine’s Day, just think about the money you’re saving, the stress you’re avoiding, and the disappointment you won’t be feeling when your ridiculous expectations aren’t met. I can guarantee that if you stay in and watch a movie while eating take-out Chinese food, you will have a better valentine’s than 80% of people in relationships.


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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

7 responses to “Valentine’s, Shmalentine’s.”

  1. bowtalks says :

    A lot of things you said is true , but I fail to understand why people sabotage the idea of valentines day to this extent , I mean we love our moms right? why do we have a mother’s day then? its no big deal, people want something to enjoy , celebrate , all occasions have been created for human enjoyment , to be a part of it or not is upto you, no one is going to force you , gifts and all , of course it matters , does,nt it feel gud if you receive a card once in a while? so yeah , no need to tk vday so seriously or any other day for that matter, but if you can , then why not?

  2. sabcooke says :

    This is my first year with a proper valentine to and we’re spending it as romantically as possible: in the hospital getting her surgery results. Nothing says foreplay like that new-test-result smell!

    I always find it an amusing time of year because we all say about how commercial it is and then by the time it rolls around, we all go to mush and run to the stores. I tend to give my girlfriend a lot of silly, creative presents anyway, so Valentine’s Day is proving to be a cheaper way to do so – gotta love the sales!

    I think I’ve outdone myself with the present I got/made her and will be posting a picture of it on my blog, but since she reads it I’ll have to wait until after the day…

    Enjoy your Valentine’s day and good luck with the rose hunt 🙂

  3. chymeera says :

    I am so with you on that one. I have myself only had one Valentine’s experience. Did get the red rose and all but got so spoiled by my then boyfriend saying that his mother had made him buy the rose! I am all for little attentions throughout the year. Bowtalks, I see your point and I don’t mind the actual event (and mother’s day and grandmother’s day – which we have in France) if it hadn’t become such a commercial thing. It’s about presents and such and not just a gentle reminder to say to someone I love you…let’s be honest, we all tend to forget to tell that to the people we love more often than not…I hope you will all enjoy it the way you want…for me, it will be home with my telly.

  4. purpleperceptions says :

    Lol, totally get this, I’ve never had a ‘valentine’, as in the full blown extravagant shebang, with my fiance. The one year my ‘boyfriend’ got me a five foot tall teddy bear, a bag full of assorted mushy gifts and a dozen roses, I was over the moon, mainly because he asked me out on valentine’s day and I was desperately trying to convince my fifteen year old self that I liked this and I liked him (never did, even back then). Reason kicked in a day later and I returned his gifts with an apology. The ‘relationship’ ended three months later when I found out he was twenty three, not seventeen. I was not a bright kid…

  5. Al Kline says :

    I love your photo caption, it made me laugh today.

  6. an0nym0usbl0gger says :

    Ya it is sad how much hype holidays get these days, its a big commercial disaster. Its all about the spending. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Fourth of July. What happened to the whole reason why we celebrate the day. For me Valentine’s day isn’t about what you buy your loved one/spouse/partner, it’s about being reminded not to take those you love for granted, which we tend to do so often. Great post, can’t wait for the next!

  7. elbablogs says :

    Great post. Thanks

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