The 10 Commandments of Relationships
1. You don’t have to share all the same hobbies.
No one is asking you to take up football or start playing Call of Duty. If you want to, or actually like to, then that’s awesome. But it isn’t required to make a relationship last. And in exchange you aren’t allowed to make him take you shoe shopping or come to church with you if he doesn’t want to.
2. He doesn’t have to be there to “be there”.
You don’t have to spend every minute with him to feel like your bond is solid. And you don’t expect him to be.
3. You have to have a similar sense of humour.
No exceptions. No amount of nice hair and hot body will make up for having the laughter capacity of a wet sponge. This humour, though, can be whatever is right for you and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you what you should or should not find funny. Even if that thing you find funny is the “what do you call cheese that’s not yours?” joke. If you just yelled “NACHO CHEESE” at your computer, you have my permission to smack yourself.
4. Your parents don’t have to like him.
In fact, your parents can hate him. If you love someone and they love you, no one can tell you that you shouldn’t be with that person. Unless he hurts you verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually. Then they do have the right to tell you to get out.
5. He doesn’t have to win over all your girl friends.
Girls are picky, snide, and get jealous easily. When a girl tells you they don’t like your boyfriend, you don’t really know if they have a valid reason or if your happiness just makes them miss what they used to have. You can’t please everyone, so make sure you’re happy with the person you end up with. If your friends love him too that’s just an added bonus.
6. He doesn’t need to agree with you all the time.
Hell, sometimes he doesn’t even need to understand. He just has to know that this is important to you, and be willing to support you in your choices and beliefs.
7. You should never have to “settle”.
You deserve to be with exactly the kind of person who makes you happy. Even if that means waiting a while for the right person to come around, it is better than getting hitched young just because that’s what people seem to be doing right now. When you find the right person for you, you’ll know.
8. Money matters.
No, not in the “I only like people with money” sense. Frugal people should be with frugal people, and people who like to spend more for luxurious items should do the same. Money problems are probably one of the biggest reasons relationships fail. If you have conflicting views on something so important, it will only lead to unwanted tension. You can’t have two people driving on the same road in opposite directions. It will only lead to distance or collision.
9. It’s okay to have a “type”.
You like what you like, and especially in people that’s okay. Being with people you like or find interesting is a good thing. But also note that “types” tend to be phases, so don’t get hung up on someone just because they fit what you imagine would be right for you at the time. As your needs and preferences change, the superficial things could change too. He won’t look the same 10, 20, 50 years from now. An awesome personality, though, will never go away.
10. If it breaks, fix it.
If you’re in it for the long haul, treat it carefully, nurture it, and repair it along the way. Little cracks lead to bigger holes if ignored, so make sure you’re both committed to making it work.