Never Be Lonely Again.
For all my single friends out there, or for those who don’t get enough attention from their significant other as they want. Or anyone who just wants to have an awesome time.
Janine’s Loneliness Solution, in 6 easy steps!
This is going to sound confusing, so bear with me. You’ll only understand at the end.
Step 1: Do your laundry. That whole pile on the floor. Your sheets. Towels and all of that. In the washing machine. Use your best-smelling detergent.
Step 2: While your laundry is going, clean your room. This includes all those dishes that are sitting on your desk growing mould, all that hair that gets everywhere because you shed like a llama on meth, and any other colossal messes you can discover. Make your room into a place you would like to be brought home to.
Step 3: Put the aforementioned laundry in the dryer. Use dryer sheets!
Step 4: Put on the clothes that make you feel good. You have a hot date tonight.
Step 5: Set the mood. Dim the lights, pleasant music, candles, whatever. It can only make the experience better.
Step 6: Finally, go retrieve your laundry fresh from the dryer. Dump it onto your bed. Now climb in, and be cuddled by the lovely-smelling fabric against your skin. Breathe in the fresh scents, and relax deeper into your pile of joy. Doesn’t it just remind you of when you were a kid and would beg your mom to dump the laundry pile onto you while you watch tv? You can now be warm and contented. Life is good.
Now I gotta go. I’m playing in my big pile of laundry. 😉