Well I Did Do It But It Wasn’t REALLY Me…

A half-drunk glass of beer

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[Warning: this post contains adult content]

This is a topic I would love some feedback on. A good friend of mine, Karen, recently confided in me that her relationship with her girlfriend (they’re gay, in case that wasn’t clear) was kind of rocky because of something that happened. Karen said that one night she went out partying, and got very drunk. More drunk than she has ever been, in fact, and she drinks quite a bit. She went home with her girlfriend from the bar that night, and does not remember what took place. All she remembers is arriving at the bar, and then waking up the next morning in her girlfriend’s bed, alone.

The next day, however, her girlfriend was upset with her. Apparently after they had returned from the bar, they had slept together. And then Karen apparently started getting very handsy, wanting more. Her girlfriend told her to stop many times, and when Karen didn’t stop, she left and slept in a different room.

When she told me this, I’ll admit it made me really uncomfortable. I don’t know her girlfriend, but I know Karen, and don’t believe that she would do something like that if she knew what she was doing. So my question here is, can Karen be blamed for her actions? She was too drunk to know what was going on, doesn’t remember any of it, and now feels sick over what she did. What should she do about it? How can she get her girlfriend’s trust back? And more generally, are we completely responsible for any actions we take when we are too intoxicated to know what we are doing?

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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

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