“I’m a Man, The World Is My Urinal”

Last night I spent new years with my boyfriend at a bar where our friend’s band was playing. It was about 45 minutes away, so I drove. Anyways we went, and had a good time, kissed as it changed to 2013, etc. When we drove home, something perplexing happened.

My boyfriend got out of the car, and announced that he was going to go piss on a telephone pole. Which he emphasized my stating “I’m a man, the world is my urinal”. And he did in fact mean ON the telephone pole, not just next to it, which to me seemed like an equally valid option.

We were about 2 minutes from my house, but he insisted he couldn’t wait. And, I mean, you gotta go you gotta go, but it occurred to me that this is something I just can’t fully understand because I’m a woman.

First off, I understand it is much simpler for a guy to just whip it out and get it done. And although there are some exceptions, I don’t think most women would do that. Not just because it is more difficult for us, but I like to think we are slightly classier than that. Most women would find a way to hold it for that last two minutes needed to get inside.

And the other thing that confused me about this, was that it wasn’t just this one time. The night before when he came to pick me up from the airport and my plane was very delayed, he admitted he parked on the side of the road and pissed behind a pillar, even though the place where business people get picked up was right across the road. And cars were going by. Which brings me to the third thing that is perplexing about this…

They don’t care if someone sees. I asked my boyfriend last night what he would have done if a car went by or someone walked by and saw him. He said, “I’d make sure they weren’t a cop, and then continue on peeing.” He added that people probably don’t need to see his junk, but if they happen to, who cares? Uh…well… *raises hand sheepishly*

So…I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make here. Men are odd creatures. I just don’t get it.


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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

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