Leaving Home To Return Home
I’m leaving Winnipeg and this cushy life at home later tonight. I have to get back to real life: school, work, life on my own. I know this isn’t very profound, but it has got me thinking. The last time I left this house it was with a car full of my belongings and led to a two-hellish-day drive through the USA and back up to Canada in another province. And I don’t think I left on the best of terms with my parents. They are glad I’m more independent than my siblings, but I think they still had a hard time accepting that their youngest child would rather live far away than stay near her family. And I did take that into consideration when I left, but I didn’t realize how much I would miss it since when I was here I hated it. Now that I’ve lived on my own with close to nothing, it was hard to be back. Because now I realize that staying here would have been so much easier, and there really is a lot here for me. But that isn’t enough for me.
When I left I knew it would be tough, but I thought I would be able to blend into a new city, meet new people, and life would go on. I didn’t know that it would be hard to meet people at this new university. I didn’t realize that I need social interaction more than I thought I did in order to stay sane. And I didn’t think about how much I would miss having things like TV, a room that has space that isn’t cluttered, or not having to worry about the centipede infestation in the basement I live in now.
I guess this is all part of growing up, moving out, and moving on. But it has been tougher than I expected, and my anxiety is starting to come back just thinking about all the things I will have to do in the new year. If I could do it again, though, despite it all, I would probably still leave. The hardest parts of life are the ones that taught me the most things.
And as hard as it is to leave again, I know that this time my parents have accepted that the baby of the family is now an adult, and she’s going to be okay on her own.