1.11 Please Forgive Me

I wrote this poem one night when I was texting Sarah. She was depressed again, and in the midst of it she decided to break up with me. I think it really shows the complexity of our relationship. A poisonous combination of love, power, pain, and guilt. I loved her, but it was killing me inside because I blamed myself for her breakdowns.

 

I abuse you

I rip out your heart

Pick at it until there’s nothing left

Then put it back

 

I tell you I’m sorry

I didn’t mean it

I’ll never do it again

Promise

Even though we both know I will

I don’t want to

I don’t even notice I’m doing it

But I will

 

The empty promises torture me

You deserve so much better

But I can’t let you go

Even though it’s what’s best for you

So I beg you

Again

Please take me back

 

I need you

And in a sick way

Maybe you need me too

Because after everything I’ve put you through

You take me back anyways

Hoping it will be better next time

When we both know it won’t

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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

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