Your Boyfriend Is Not Welcome To Christmas Dinner. Period.
Before returning home for Christmas, I asked my parents if it was okay if I brought my boyfriend with me. He wanted to meet the rest of my family, and I wanted him to spend more time with my parents (they had only met a couple of times briefly). And the answer I got from my own mother was a very blunt, “no”. She then humourously added that “when he becomes family he is welcome at Christmas dinner”.
I’m still not sure what she meant by that. We have been dating for a year and a half, but no we will not be getting hitched any time soon. I thought it was kind of rude to not let him come, especially since he has a genuine interest in getting to know my family and friends. It could have been a lot of fun. I really wish I could spend Christmas with him.
Unfortunately, in this family my mom makes the rules. And if she doesn’t think he is welcome, then he isn’t. Really though, the holidays are about sharing. They are about happiness, and getting together with the people you care about. They are not about judgements and alienation. His Christmas dinner is just him and his parents because he is an only child. His parents love me. His mother treats me like the daughter she never had, and that’s a really great feeling to know that there are people who care about you and would be there for you if you ever needed anything. I just wish my parents understood how important he is to me, and would let him try to be closer to the family, as he is obviously trying to do.
It is probably for the best, though. I have a huge family (my dad grew up with 8 brothers and sisters), and Christmas dinner is usually about 40 people. That might be a bit of an overload to try to introduce him to everyone, so it is probably for the best that he won’t be here this Christmas.
But next year, there is no way he is getting out of it.