Returning Home

In two days I’m heading home to Winnipeg for Christmas. I love Christmas. It’s a big deal in my family because my dad’s side of the family is very religious. One of the things I’ve been thinking about, though, is how my family will treat me when I come home. They weren’t completely on board with the move when I first mentioned it, and I think there are still some negative emotions there. I’m worried that when I go home I will start to get treated like a child again, just like I was before I left.

The problem with being the youngest in the family (I have 3 older siblings) is that I’m still thought of as the baby of the family. It doesn’t matter that I’ve moved away, have a good job, am in the home stretch of my degree, and have made a life for myself somewhere else. When I go home it will always be “remember when you were 5 and…” and people assume that I am still that way. They draw conclusions like since there was one time when I was little that I didn’t keep a secret, that even now I can’t be trusted with secrets. And it honestly annoys me.

My house was always full of yelling. Sometimes I didn’t even know why we were fighting. My mom would get upset at one of us for some small thing (such why didn’t you wash the bowl you ate out of??) and start explaining how our sloppiness and laziness will impact our futures and we will never find a husband and end up lonely with our 9 cats.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. They just aren’t always easy to deal with. Especially under the stress of the holidays. My family is huge. My dad grew up with 8 brothers and sisters, and most of them are married and have multiple children, and some of them are married and have children. We always have a family gathering the day after Christmas, and it is impressive that we manage to get that many people together for a meal.

It will be nice to be home. I plan on relaxing, and enjoying my time there as much as possible. After this semester, I deserve a break. I just hope people don’t expect me to be the same person I was growing up, and even more importantly that they don’t treat me like I still am that person.


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About janinerussell

The transition to adulthood; reflecting on the past to create a better future.

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